Look at PrГёv dette nettstedet the ways he with pride smiles right up during the you against your mobile display screen when he dangles their Catch of the day within base out-of their cargo pants-clothed base! You understand the individuals pockets are only filled up with carabiners, hooks, and you may zero-links! Imagine the cute Boy Scout you went to primary college that have. Remember the way they had been therefore of use and know all the various types of knots? Okay, now photo them grown up-up and not wanting so you can Venmo your $250 to have their 50 % of the latest abortion. Now visualize him rising into the sunlight, which he calls “nature’s alarm clock.” Truly, I am not sure that’s bad.
Nebraska: The new Armchair Quarterback
You have undergone around three (3) coffees dining tables this current year because your boyfriend, an armchair quarterback off Nebraska, won’t stop crushing all of them in anger whenever his team loses. He categorically refuses to believe that the players can’t tune in to him of their family room and you may, as a result, his article-fumble “Get real. ” shout is actually noisy. All of the Friday, unfalteringly, you might be either experiencing him label all of the mentor and you will member good fucking moron, otherwise freezing in the tailgate – never ever at real online game, regardless if. He’ll never conquer the main one seasons and then he is almost a 3rd-string go-for the kicker on Huskers, and since he covers it all the damn go out, neither is it possible you.
Nevada: The newest Perma-Bachelor
Only if my personal match fit me in addition to Bradley Cooper’s did on Hang over, thinks new Las vegas Fuckboy, upcoming my life is over. Truth be told there the guy goes, prowling from pub together with his clothing undone one to option as well of numerous, slurring their terms and conditions and you will sloshing their martini. If only it tasted as nice as they appear, the guy secret so you can himself. Never ask your when planning on taking out-of his glasses, because they’re covering up a set of crusted, bloodshot sight that were immediately following simple and packed with existence. He’s today a taking walks team servers, repeating so you’re able to their members of the family: “You’ll get hitched? Loss! Simple fact is that solitary lifetime in my situation, brah!”, being unsure of he’ll getting doomed to grow a paunch, assist his expensive match end up being tarnished and nasty, and get one of several Las vegas slot machine grandmas, thumbing household for the servers and you will sipping a-two-liter bottles regarding eating plan Coke, looking to earn the fresh honor of their forgotten childhood.
“Hello girl, don’t We view you during the Tri-Kap dager a week ago?” are an everyday opening gambit of New Hampshire Fuckboy who are Steeped But Embarrassed About this. A Dartmouth guy through-and-through, he or she is a perfect attention regarding option-lows, khaki pants, and you may a great blazer that is certainly worn from the formals and in addition in the his father’s yacht club. Inquire your outright in the event that he could be rich, he’ll stop wasting time to share with you their family relations dont very own a great private sprinkle – it’s simply a stake within the a contributed G6 between some of my father’s organization partners. And then he doesn’t have a residence for the Nantucket, it’s just a small summer house on seashore around the Obamas’ put. An enjoyable trick if you wish to set your toward put – ask him so you can pronounce the name away from their very expensive watch (Audemars Piguet) to check out your squirm.
The newest Mexico: Brand new Connect
Brand new Mexico, they claim, is the property away from spell, a wilderness in which their journey ambitions can come correct. It’s nearer to a dusty horror where in fact the men smell like particles and you may smegma. Your new Mexican fuckboy, when the he is out of Albuquerque, would-be much too eager to direct you attractions off Breaking Crappy – you know, you to household you can toss a pizza onto, or one to amazingly meth hotel – since that’s it he’s. That, with his “I am the one who hits” shirt (stained), a broad-brimmed hat (doesn’t fit), and you can Heisenberg spectacles (indeed a small rigid so they look during the and leave red-colored, welt-eg indents on the their head). In the event that he’s away from Santa Fe, expect a comparable but with conversations on Ayahuasca thus tiresome you are able to must hurl on your own off of the high cliffs on Los Alamos.